In the not too distant past, a colleague of mine made the comment that a teacher should be present when a parent(s) are picking a name for their child(ren) so that they don’t make a grave mistake, that grave mistake being that child being made fun of for the majority of their school years due to a poor name choice. While this colleague made said comment in jest, part of me found myself buying a lot of stock in what she had said.  A situation clearly etched my mind is my childhood dentist, unfortunately named Dr. Dick whose office sign, following a particularly raucous Halloween, was vandalized because of his very namesake. There’s also the instance refered to me by my high school friend, who had a relative named Harry Bacon or even my late grandmother being named Bertha, but never using that name, except on legal documents, more in favor of being referred to by others as “Honey.” Or how about the name that I was faced with when working at the New York State fair one year and registering a guy who name was Justin Case? At one time or another, all of those people, intuition tells me, were subjected to some sort of ridicule, due to their namesakes. Imagine that ridicule being revved up triple time in today’s very unforgiving school environs. As a School Counselor in the trenches, I can attest that it is hard to be a kid today, much harder than it was when I was in school. Do the parents of America’s future generations really want to make it that much harder on their children that they have so lovingly brought into the world by giving them names that while they might seem inspired at that moment in time, go on to inspire ridicule to fall upon their children from their peers?

While we would all like to believe that as living and breathing people in the 21st century where PC is the name of the game and everyone’s differences are respected, I’m afraid that I must report that this is not the case. So my plea to parents everywhere is that you think carefully before you name your child as it may mean the difference between the school years going smoothly  or not so much.  Do not take a cue from celebrities who choose names that are almost always ridiculous. Their children lead lives that are not realistic to those not in the upper classes. Or at least…consult a teacher before making a final decision. You will be glad that you did.

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